1. |
BT shunt
04:06
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Sleep again, knives and blades cut holes in my skin
Pain again, just wide enough to put the new one in
I wish you were there before, back when wounds were fresh
Sleep again, knives and blades cut holes in my skin
Dreams again, please stay with me longer than the last one did
I wish you were there before, back when wounds were fresh
Please don’t ever fade
You remind me of times I could hold in the palm of my hand,
But when you fade, I’ll hardly recall the songs we sung
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2. |
Fontan i & ii
04:09
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Lifeless on this metal table,
I strain to move but I’m unable
Bathed in a cool white light,
Even through closed eyes, it seems so bright
Open my eyes to stare at the sun
Not the sun, but the face of someone
Ribs bent back so my soul is exposed
Shirt torn off so my scars are exposed
Open my eyes to stare at the sun
Not the sun, but the face of someone
Deathless on these cool, linen sheets
Your head on my chest to hear my heart beat
Bathed in a cool, Spring breeze
Even with your warmth, I feel I could freeze
Open my eyes to stare at the sun
Not the sun, but the face of someone
Ribs bent back so my soul is exposed
Shirt torn off so my scars are exposed
Open my eyes to stare at the sun
Not the sun, but the face of someone
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3. |
Mutual intelligibility
02:31
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Words I said that I knew were mistakes
A long trip that I didn’t want to take
A flight I wasn’t able to make
Worries always keeping me awake
A book that I refused to read
An assignment that I half-assed from the start
Stray cats the neighbors started to feed:
How I spent our time apart
A beer that didn’t taste so great
A whiskey that made my heart race
Cold water splashed in my face
A taste I can’t satiate
A meal that never made me full
A night where I was the fool
How many times have I felt this way?
You already knew what I’d say
It’s just a feeling I get sometimes
A feeling, sometimes
Words I said that I knew were mistakes
A long trip that I didn’t want to take
A flight I wasn’t able to make
Worries always keeping me awake
A book that I refused to read
An assignment that I half-assed from the start
Stray cats the neighbors started to feed:
How I spent our time apart
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4. |
Happiness
04:23
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No longer problems of the heart if I turn my head
To the white, fluorescent light of my mental institution
I’m happy to be alive
I don’t have a choice while I’m here
I don’t have a voice, that’s what I hear
No more nights of endless moaning
Whether sad or sexualized,
So I smile, confiding in my murky mirror
I’m happy to be alive
No more feeling like my mind’s a prison
No more, no more, no more
And I smirk; I gladly listen
I’m alive
I don’t have a choice while I’m here
I don’t have a voice, that’s what I hear
Human something now—humans being humans
In good, bad, confusing, yet simple ways
Connection: from endless love…to blunt mistakes
Humans doing things to bring the humans
To the eye or ear or nose or heart
To the falling footsteps on loosened rocks
In echo, and the silence following
Human to human, something now
Same tomorrow and yesterday
We’ll see it’s all we ever wanted
Humans being human, to bring the peoples’
Eyes or ears or procreative channels
Together to watch, to feel, to taste, to blend
To separate and start again
Am I happy to be alive?
I don’t have a choice
Am I happy?
I want to be happy and not too much of an asshole
Right now, I’m about as relieved as a dog, guilty of pissing the rug
I don’t have a choice,
I just want to be happy
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5. |
Into the light
04:54
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Just being there is not enough
Unless of course, you’re into that stuff
Are you there?
Lie to me; tell me you’re there
She listened to each word and made answer delightfully
And do we make love delightfully?
Tighten the straps, bleeding backs
Two backs!
Tighten the straps, tighter
Bleeding backs, is that what you like?
Lie to me and tell me you’re there
Make me believe
I want to believe that there’s more to this
In all of this, more to this
Lie to my face; I’ll lie to your back
Two backs!
Just lie to me if you’re into that
OK, whip me anywhere you like
I’ll be your open book
Is that what you like?
Do you like books with pictures or words?
Read my eyes and picture this story:
I dreamt that I went to the bowels of this earth
And at its heart, there was an apartment complex
With dark corridors
And a darker staircase
I stepped out and entered a room
Full of debauchery
Lie to me and tell me you’re there
Are you there?
We’re all here
We’re all here
But I prefer the light on
Shut the door
Turn the light on
Turn the light on
I want to see you
And I want to see me
And I want to see us
Because we’re all here
Turn the light on!
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ruined smile records Brisbane, Australia
DIY label based in Brisbane, Australia via London, UK.
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